Irish Dictator Resigns
April 2, 2008 – 4:50 am
Bertie Ahern, Dictator of the Irish people for well over the period of a decade gave a saddening speech today, resigning his tenor as Prime Prick, due to the bad publicity of the Tribunal investigating his odd cash transactions was getting in the way of the issues Ireland is confronted with.
His date for resignation will be 6th of May of this year (2008 for archives).
His speech, although he can’t make a speech for shit, was really well done. If not for the fact that the majority of what he said was lies and bullshit… I’d commend him on it. But credit where it’s due… he has speech problems, and he deserves a nice night in with some coco sitting down to watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
The Mahon Tribunal revealed that suspicious payments ended up in his bank account. Most of which were in the British currency.
This gives the citizens of e-Gypt, and I’m sure many Irish people too, even more reason to suspect he was a British pawn as to this date the Tribunal cannot figure out where the Sterling came from.
But all that aside - let us sing songs of glory and accomplishment, as the guy who told us we didn’t really mean “No” that time is gone.
No more shall the Irish people pay for his expensive holidays and extra staff to tell him when his shirt isn’t tucked into his pants.
Bertie - We’ll miss you like a sore tooth. I hope some day he ends up with a nice little slot on RTÉ Radio1, as is the fate of those who slip out of the “mainstream” of Irish society. And I put mainstream in inverted-commas because one doesn’t actually exist - we’re too busy earning our bread and butter… God Bless the Celtic Tiger and the EU, eh?
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